Here's How Cox Gets Into the June 5 Debate!
Fringe presidential candidate John Cox has been shut out of the Manchester, NH GOP debate on June 5 because he has no support, has not raised any money and is not gaining any headway with the national media, which thinks he's a joke.
Here are a few helpful suggestions for Cox to finally get into a debate:
1. Sneak into the "spin room" pretending to be a reporter. (oops, tried that at the last debate. Didn't work.)
2. Wear a wig and try to get into the door posing as Mitt Romney's "other" wife.
3. Have a one-man protest at the front gate holding a large sign saying "I'm a candidate for president, dammit. Let me in!"
4. Offer to pay CNN $20,000. Hey, money talks, right? (well, except for Cox, who's spent $850,000+ of his own money and has a grand total of five Kool-Aid-drinking supporters across the nation.)
5. Stay home and film himself responding to Wolf Blitzer's questions, then splice this into the actual debate, to make it seem like he was really invited (oops, did that one already, too.)
6. Hold a mock debate across town with himself and the other 25 fringe candidates. Post it on YouTube.
7. Stand outside the debate hall and debate himself, moving from one podium to another.
8. Take out another full-page ad in the New Hampshire Union Leader with the words "I'm a legitimate candidate! Listen to me! I'm important! I'm rich! You MUST listen to me NOW!" That will surely force CNN, WMUR-TV and the Union Leader to put him on the stage.
And, if worse comes to worse, he can simply tell everyone who didn't see the debate that he was there and did a WONDERFUL job, and that Wolf Blitzer actually endorsed him in the process.