Saturday, June 30, 2007

How LOW Can Cox Go (In Fundraising)? Try One Dollar!

The countdown to the second filing period for the presidential primary campaign is upon us, and some candidates cannot wait to tell the world about their success.

Fringe Republican candidate John Cox is not among them.

A former staffer in the campaign (and they are LEGION) tells this blog that he was informed that for the entire month of June, the campaign may likely lay claim to a single donation of just ONE DOLLAR! And that was from an employee of Cox'.

In an email he has seen, the campaign's electronic payment system spat out confirmation of a donation from a paralegal in Cox's law firm, Cox, Oakes & Associates. The amount? ONE DOLLAR. Quite a lot of faith his employees have in him, eh?

To be charitable, my source says this may simply have been a test to see if the system was broken, since my source has heard that we can expect a fundraising figure as low as $200 for the entire quarter. (Make that $201!)

Don't expect that kind of pathetic result to stop the million dollar man from unloading up to one million dollars of his not-very-huge fortune in a vain attempt to demand that the media recognize him as a candidate --- simply because he says so.

(I realize that if Cox now raises $300, or even $1,000, I have helped him lower expectations with this $201 prediction. But unlike fellow Illinoisan Barack Obama, whose team is lowering expectations from $26 to $20 million, a Cox "victory" of $1000 would be pathetic indeed, and inconsequential in the political race.)

Cox Spins Dismal Numbers in Straw Poll...Again

Once again, we're indebted to The Political Pale Horse for keeping up with John Coxmeister's ridiculous campaign for president, which is growing more and more desperate for news these days, apparently:
"Cox for President gleefully announced in a press release that John Cox “nips Romneys heels in Iowa Straw Poll” in Linn County. What they failed to mention is statistically Romney, Cox, Fred Thompson, and Ron Paul are all tied. They all came in between three and five percent.

Tommy Thompson came in at 33%, Brownback at 30%, and Tancredo at 15%. Even more interesting is presidential candidate Daniel Gilbert is statistically tied with John Cox. Who is Daniel Gilbert you ask? We don’t know either. At face value we still like him more than Cox. We just know this:

John Cox 4%
Daniel Gilbert 2%

What the press release should have said was this:

For immediate release:
Monday, June 25, 2007
Contact: Someone just looking for a paycheck

Daniel Gilbert nips Cox’s heels in Iowa Straw Poll
Cox still looks like a douche bag

(Cedar Rapids) – GOP presidential candidate John Cox came in at 4% in Linn County’s straw poll after suing anyone who laughed at his candidacy and spending nearly $800,000 of his own money. Daniel Gilbert, Cox’s chief rival, came in at 2% without doing anything other than putting up a website.

Cox had this to say. “The people of Linn County have spoken,” said the GOP candidate, “I am not an anti-Christ.”

Linn County is located in Cedar Rapids, well actually Cedar Rapids is located in Linn County. But Cox is too much of a joke to be able to afford competent staff that would know that. So he’s stuck with me. Don’t tell anybody, but I don’t know how to write a press release either."

Well, PPH nailed it. The question I have is just how many people voted in this STRAW poll? My sources say about 30, but it could be a bit higher. I doubt it.

Friday, June 29, 2007

John Cox offers his rear-end in place of political experience

Hat tip to the Political Pale Horse on this one:

John Cox was on the Steve Deace [show, in Des Moines, IA] where he offered his "rear-end" in place of any political experience of any candidate. Cox emphasized that his rear-end has “been on the line” several times in his 30 years of business experience.

He said that his “rear-end being on the line” made him solve problems by bringing people together. He then went on to bash Barack Obama and Richard Nixon.

If you want to listen visit this link.

Deace, who has had Cox on the show numerous times, noted for Cox that Obama at least has had experience being ELECTED to the Illinois state senate and to the U.S. Senate. Cox, of course, has never been elected to anything.

Cox said "I built a business from ZERO. I built a business from ZERO to a hundred million dollars of net worth." I'm sure the people at Chicago's Jay's Foods, where Cox worked for about a year as a finance officer, would LOVE to hear that their company was "zero" before he supposedly "ran" it. There are several statements that are incorrect in his statement, among them that he ever "ran" that company.

Bottom line: John Cox is "MR ZERO EXPERIENCE."

Monday, June 04, 2007

Here's How Cox Gets Into the June 5 Debate!

Fringe presidential candidate John Cox has been shut out of the Manchester, NH GOP debate on June 5 because he has no support, has not raised any money and is not gaining any headway with the national media, which thinks he's a joke.

Here are a few helpful suggestions for Cox to finally get into a debate:

1. Sneak into the "spin room" pretending to be a reporter. (oops, tried that at the last debate. Didn't work.)
2. Wear a wig and try to get into the door posing as Mitt Romney's "other" wife.
3. Have a one-man protest at the front gate holding a large sign saying "I'm a candidate for president, dammit. Let me in!"
4. Offer to pay CNN $20,000. Hey, money talks, right? (well, except for Cox, who's spent $850,000+ of his own money and has a grand total of five Kool-Aid-drinking supporters across the nation.)
5. Stay home and film himself responding to Wolf Blitzer's questions, then splice this into the actual debate, to make it seem like he was really invited (oops, did that one already, too.)
6. Hold a mock debate across town with himself and the other 25 fringe candidates. Post it on YouTube.
7. Stand outside the debate hall and debate himself, moving from one podium to another.
8. Take out another full-page ad in the New Hampshire Union Leader with the words "I'm a legitimate candidate! Listen to me! I'm important! I'm rich! You MUST listen to me NOW!" That will surely force CNN, WMUR-TV and the Union Leader to put him on the stage.

And, if worse comes to worse, he can simply tell everyone who didn't see the debate that he was there and did a WONDERFUL job, and that Wolf Blitzer actually endorsed him in the process.